You’ve probably heard it more times than you can count. “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” by Jim Rohn.
There are people that God has already ordained to come across our path to help us fulfill our destiny, people that will inspire us, challenge us and makes us better. The right people have already been lined up.
But here’s the key, if you’re spending time with the wrong people you will never meet the right ones.
If you’re hanging around people that are not going any place, people that are dragging you down, cause you to compromise, draining your energy. You’re going to get stuck.
You can’t hang out with chickens and expect to soar with eagles.
You’re going to become like the people you continually associate with.
You want to know what you are going to be like in five years?
Look at your friends, if your friends are going places, people of excellence, kind, considerate, generous, those qualities are going to rub up on you. But if your friends are negative, critical, unmotivated, compromisers, mediocre, gossipers, indifferent, this is your wake up call.
Proverbs 13:20
Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.
The first major study on the breadth of social influence was conducted by Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler. The duo has examined the data set from the Framingham Heart Study, one of the largest and longest running health studies ever, when they realized that it covered more than just the heart health of the participants. They were studied for all sorts of medical conditions, and during interviews they were probed with all sorts of demographic questions, including questions about family members and friends.
According to their results, if a friend of yours becomes obese, you, yourself are 45% more likely to have a chance to gain weight over the next two to four years.
If your friend smokes, you are 61% more likely to be a smoker yourself.
So, what will you do if after reading this blog, you realized that there are a lot of chickens in your life?
Here is what you do: you don’t have to be rude, you don’t have to make some big announcement. Just little by little start distancing yourself. Spending less and less time with them.
You need eagles in your life. People that inspire you. People that motivate you to go further. People that make you better.
You can still be kind and friendly with them, but don’t spend a lot of time with them. Be selective.
But what if, sometimes, you don’t have a choice? They are your family?
This is the hardest thing to deal with. Letting go of people who are not supposed to be in our life. There are family members and relatives that cannot go where you’re going. You should always treat your family with respect, but you don’t have to spend 24 hours a day with them. Some of your relatives, you have to love them from a distance.
God will give us the grace for these situations.
But what if you have a choice?
When you do have a choice, life is too short to waste your valuable time with the wrong people.
Don’t spend your valuable time with people that bring out the worst in you. If your friends are causing you to compromise, being negative, complain, gossip, lose your temper that’s a sign that they’re the wrong people. If you let them go, God has already lined up people that will bring out the best in you.
The longer I live the more determined I am, not spending time with people that are never happy, people that do not have integrity, people that are small minded, people that compromise. If you go to your highest potential you have to surround yourself with eagles, with people that bring out your wings, with people that calls you to soar.
Choosing wrong friends can keep you away from your purpose. The quantity of your friends is not important. The quality really matters.
Irons sharpen iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. Your friend should be sharpening you, making you better.
Be Responsible in choosing your Friends
Be responsible in choosing your friends. You can’t just take it by default, and think well, these people are worth with, they’re my friends. You have the power to choose.
List down the qualities you like your friends to have and actively look for those kind of people. They cannot just land in your lap. Take the responsibility to look for them. They are just there and maybe they are looking for you too.
Do a Friendship Inventory
On a regular basis, evaluate your friendships, make sure you’re hanging around with eagles. People that inspire you and make you better.
You’re not here in this spot by accident. It you think it’s time to let go of some old friends, then, it’s time to make a change. You’re not going to become who you are created to be hanging around them. You may need some new friends. You need eagles in your life.
Everybody cannot go where you are going because we all have different purposes. The higher you go the tighter your circle has to become. The more selective you have to be. Make sure you are with the right people.
Soaring with you,
Sources: David Burkus, Joel Osteen Talk
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